Have you ever come to the realization that your life is mediocre, at best?  You sort of wake up, look around, and wonder how in the world you have become so content with just existing.  It didn’t used to be this way.  Little by little, the mundane took over, and without setting goals and putting a game plan into place, you wake up to the same day, everday.  Time and time again, you are frustrated by the sense of stagnation that surrounds you.

I find myself here.  It’s something that I’ve experienced before, and had made a vow to never let it happen again.  I blame myself, but then I also realize that only blaming myself will make it worse.

It’s a combination of factors, really.  They add up over time, creeping in and grabbing hold of the part of you that wants to stay in bed all day.  It makes me find justification by the many excuses I can come up with that all make sense.

There is a theory I’ve had for a while.  It’s about unintentionally being unintentional.  If you fail to be intentional in your life, then the unintentional mediocrity is bound to take over.

The first step in overcoming this is recognizing it.  This is where I am today.

With so much potential and so much possibility, it’s really a crime to just sit back and let this happen.

And so with that… I am taking the first step in putting a stop to it.  Join me.

I can vividly remember staring at a painting in the doctor’s office I visited as a kid.  I had stared at it so many times before, but I was always fascinated and somewhat perplexed by it.  Spending so much time at the doctor’s office, I had such a familiarity with the surroundings that I can still see them in my mind.  I can recall the giant mural on the wall of a forest scene right from the movie, Bambi.  To pass the time in the waiting room, my Dad would play a game with me that was sort of like an early version of I Spy.  He would tell me to find all 5 of the birds, and I would excitedly count them all, feeling so dignified as I completed the task.

Anyway, back to the painting.  It was such a simple painting.  I didn’t really understand what it meant, or why it was necessary.  I didn’t get why it was placed where it was.  The painting was of Snoopy.  And he had his head thrown back, smiling broadly, and doing a little jig.  That’s all.  He was dancing.  The title at the top:  Feelin’ Groovy.  A simple reminder that we can sometimes choose to feel better, to see the silver lining just inside the dark rain cloud.  A brief realization that the sun is still there, just out of sight, but it will be back before too long.

I’ve had a lot of memories popping up randomly lately. Many of them are of my mom, and they bring tears.  Many of them are of my Dad and they too sometimes bring tears.  It’s a strange season I’m in and I don’t know if I’m a fan of it.  It’s bittersweet to remember some moments and then have the sobering realization that they are a thing of the past.

I’ve been pretty under the weather lately.  As I was thinking of it, I was realizing that I haven’t really been well since Christmas.  Not completely well.  I know it’s winter, and it’s cold season.  I know I’ve had a lot going on, with losing my Mom, and my Dad deciding he only needed one thumb.  Throw in some warmer temps, followed by freezing rainy weather and then another heatwave in February and it’s a perfect recipe for a lung freakout.  Add all of it together, and my soul has felt quite trampled upon.

I realized something today though.  I feel pretty good.   It’s strange to almost forget what that feels like.  It’s a welcomed change to feel the fog lifting some, and being able to see a little more clearly.  And so I am going to take advantage of that while I can.  I’ve got to pull myself up, delve back into the things that make up my life, and get on with it.  I have to make a point to accomplish certain things, or else they will always and forever be something I only plan to do someday, when that day may never come.

Well, needless to say, 2008 was not a very good year.  Having to deal with my own illness, and watching as my mom’s health deteriorated, did not leave me with very fond memories of what 2008 brought.  It’s so easy to only remember the bad, and allow it to overshadow all of the good.  I try my best to refocus myself and take notice of the positive things that came my way… the happy memories that were made with friends and family, the new fuzzy addition to my own little household, plans and dreams made for the future.

I am thankful for a new start.  Every new year is welcomed, since it seems to bring with it a clean slate.  2009 seems even that much sweeter because of all that was faced and all that was overcome in the previous year.

I intentionally have not made a list of “New Year Resolutions”, mainly because every year I made one, and every year I accomplish very little.

I do, however, want to make a list of plans that I will follow through with.  Giving it a different name gives it a different feeling all together.

So, I’m going to start my planning list with some places I want to go in 2009.  I have put off travel for one reason or another, be it time, or lack of money, or family obligation.  Something I’m realizing, though, is when you let that stuff get in the way, it really starts to wear on you.  You begin to have a list of regrets instead of a list of accomplishments.  So here’s a start.  I’ll add to this as I think of new places:

Day trips:

• Biltmore Estate, Asheville, NC
• Mammoth Cave, KY – I’d love to take Alexander to this
• Rock City, TN Aquarium, Chattanooga, TN
• Cherokee, NC
• Fall Creek Falls, TN

Weekend trips:

• Cades Cove, TN
• Diamond Mine in AK
• Ozarks, AK
• Amish Country
• Chicago
• Memphis
• Pickett State Park, TN
• Colonial Williamsburg, va
• Atlanta, GA

vacations:

• Savannah, GA
• Panama City, FL
• West Coast

What about you?  Where do you want to go?

I’ve been trying to process several things lately. I thought I would try and take advantage of my blog that I have mostly neglected. I’ll try to do better at writing, letting this be a sounding board for my thoughts that I’m trying to work out.

Those of you that know me know that my mom has been battling cancer for the past 4 1/2 years. She is now nearing the end of her battle, as her body slowly gives up the fight. We found out last week that the end was near. After she agreed to have a 5th surgery, they discovered that the blockage was actually due to cancer that had spread through her body, including making its way to some major organs. That’s never good.

I, of course, have been devastated and trying my best just to function as best I can. I’ve been tying up loose ends, getting my ducks in a row, trying to make sure the shoe doesn’t drop before I get back into town (I tried to fit as many cliches as I could into that last sentence). I’m not sure it’s really hit me yet. I’m leaving in the morning, beginning the 5 hour drive to my parents’ home. I’m not sure what to expect, except that it’s probably going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face. So, as I try to find my way in this season of loss, please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. This is not gonna be easy.

——————————

I will try and keep this blog updated, but I’ll mostly be posting on Twitter. You can follow my posts if you want. You can also download some fun Twitter “clients” that will let the posts pop up as instant messages, which is easier than having to constantly log into the Twitter site. twitter.com/sallykent Check out TweetDeck, Spaz, or Twitterific

I am, yet again, sincerely apologizing for neglecting this blog o’mine.  Now that I have a separate site at http://www.sallykentphotography.com I think I will be able to contribute more to this side of things.  This will continue to be my personal blog, as well as the home of “Experiencing Nashville”.

I have recently discovered the Nashville Archives, where much of Nashville’s historical past is kept in chronicled form for whomever desires to dive in.  Even better, the Archives is housed in a building very near where I live!   In the near future, I plan on taking this blog deeper on the path of the “Experiencing Nashville” series.  

I’m looking forward to satisfying my thirst for knowledge of our past.  I think understanding where we came from is an important part of where we end up in the future.

I hope you will stick around!

Hi everyone!  Here’s hoping you have enjoyed the last drops of summer sunshine!  We’re now finally into fall, and I’m so excited!  The changing of the seasons always make me introspective.  I start thinking about life in general, and looking at the other changes I’d like to make for the better.

Here’s one for ya: http://www.sallykentphotography.com

 I finally got around to making a website just for my photography.  I’ll still use this one for general blogging that has nothing to do with photos.

Add this to your list of blog that you check out on a regular basis!  I plan on importing some of my old photo entries into that one, and will continue to add to it.  I will try to get back into the routine of actually getting out and taking photos just for the fun of it.

Anyway, check it

This giant icky spider web is on the building where I work.  I figured it might be blog worthy, and it would also let me test out posting photos directly to Flickr from my iphone.  So far so good!  This will let me post photos more often, regardless of how crappy the quality may be.

…if the “city rooster” regularly makes his appearance strolling through “downtown”

I’m in the north Georgia mountains visiting my family for a week.  The weather has been pretty incredible over the past couple of days.  The mornings have been almost a little chilly, which is absurd for a July morn.

Here is a photo I took as I was driving into town:

One thing that I love is candle light.  I have enough candles in my room to completely light the area well enough to see in complete darkness.  When the power is out, it only gives me another reason to light them all up and bask in the delicate glow.  I sometimes like to imagine that I live in the renaissance time period.  I’m probably the only person in the world that does that, but I’m ok with that.

So, here are some of my candles that light one of the corners in my room.  I love finding cool candle holders that I can place strategically around here.  The problem is, I’m running out of places to put them!