It is hard to believe that it has been over a month since I wrote anything. I guess that is partly because of various illnesses, and partly because I have been feeling down.
Right now I’m dealing with a heartache as a result of my sick mom. She had to have another cancer related surgery last week. It was unexpected, and has made her recovery from the chemo even more of an uphill climb to normalcy.
I think that is what bothers me most… she will never again have normalcy. Once the “C” word is uttered by a doctor, the patient rarely sees even a glimpse of what life used to be, before the dreaded 6 letter word.
I watch from afar, knowing that there is really nothing I can do, except pray, and try to offer hope, even though I may not feel much of it myself.
Last week, as she was going into the hospital, both of my parents convinced me that there was no need for me to come down. Having gone through her extensive hospital stays twice in the last few years, I agreed to wait it out. After all, watching soap operas while sitting in a hospital lobby isn’t exactly a practical way to really do much good for anyone. My original plan was to go visit once she was back home, so I could actually visit, instead of only watch helplessly as she remained in her drug induced stupor. At least then I could help take some of the burden off my dad, who refuses to leave her side.
This morning, my dad called to say that my mom had a setback overnight. She stopped breathing for a while and had to be resuscitated. She is not on a respirator until her body recovers from some of the trauma.
So, that is where I am. My stomach is in knots while I try to do the necessary things of life. Please keep my poor little Mom in your prayers.
